I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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