Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
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