A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
