cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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