is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
