Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
