She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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