I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
