that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize