Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
