is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
