Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
