You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
