I'm going to jail i love you
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize