Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
