My brain says no but my pants say off.
even my farts smell like vagina
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
