thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
