this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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