lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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