I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
