I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
