That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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