i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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