was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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