A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
