We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
