Fuck appropriateness.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
