I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
