I cockslap morals
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
