dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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