No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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