whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
