i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
