I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
