Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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