i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
