i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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