Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Randomize
