if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
