I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
