I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
