just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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