i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
