nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
