FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
