I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
