4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
