Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
