maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
