eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
