i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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