I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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