i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize