i think my mom watched the whole time
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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