You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
