She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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