I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
