Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
