Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Someone shattered a urinal.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize