Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you inspire me to be a worse person
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just forgot I was standing up.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
