some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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